


助けて

by tamagotchitadashi



Series: Doki Doki Character Studies [2]
Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Act 2, Chaotic Writing Style, Character Study, Gen, Introspection, Knives, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Temporary Amnesia, Unstable Yuri, Yuri-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 19:59:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13255542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tamagotchitadashi/pseuds/tamagotchitadashi
Summary: it worries me sometimes that before this there is nothing i can recall ever happening!!





	助けて

**Author's Note:**

> 助けて (tasukete) - help me
> 
> oh man. oh boy. this game,,, has ruined me.

it worries me sometimes that before this there is nothing i can recall ever happening!! though sometimes i get little snippets of something i can't call memories that hurt my head and draw my eyes to my knives!!! imagine a knife in my eye how quaint haaaaaaaaaah wouldn't that be fun i should try that dont you think?!!!!!

hold my knife end my life haha did you see that? a nice little rhyme, a little poem! i love poetry!!! i love having a way to rip out my guts and recite my crimes and call it metaphorical! i love to read our new member's poems i love our new member i even love the pen he uses to write them with!

i stole it i find myself doing sinful things to myself with it and pretending it is him doing them to me i love him i love him i love him no one else can have him there is no point in him talking to stupid fucking natsuki and untrustworthy monika!! he should trust nobody but me!!!

anyways sometimes i remember these things (remember is not the correct word because they didn't happen, they couldn't have happened) about a girl with a bow in her hair maybe? i can't remember her name or the colour of her hair but if i had synesthesia she would be a bright, warm, happy orange and i think she was kind, i think he knew her and

was there a time where i wasn't the vice? was that her? was there a time where i wasn't so maniacal or out of control because i think i remember her from a time where i was shy and lonely but more okay than i am now

a time where i didn't detest myself as much where i wasn't as unstable i wasn't so paranoid

i'm not paranoid i can't trust monika we can't trust monika, me and him, we can only trust each other. we love each other.

i've started bringing my knives to school and i take pleasure in the sting of fabric rubbing against fresh gashes, in pulling stray strings from deep, dark cuts and muffling my screams of pain in the girls bathroom with a smile on my face and he doesn't know but sometimes i think he might've seen? sometimes i feel dejavu over things that never even happened haAH OH GOD OH GOD OH SOrry did i worry you there that was just me cutting his name into my arm for the twentieth time in the past two days oops haha how quaint am i, right? i wonder why my parents cringe away i fear whenever i open my mouth when we sit around the dinner table

is the concept of existence so meaningless that it can be manipulated by someone as painfully, fantastically just above average as monika fucking monika of course of course of course it was her it was her it was her it was her it was her it was her

it was

 

huh

what

bright blue eyes.

a smallish build.

a red bow in her hair...?

optimistic, kind, sweet. always pumped up, always supportive. she was the one who brought him into the club in the first place. his... childhood friend. how painfully... typical.

haaa....a aaaahhhh....

her name... that's right.

i remember, now it is,,, hahAAh,,,,, painted in my blood

YHabalbhabhYU^&89HhHJM<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

s 

ayoriJIUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

yuri.chr scanned. viruses removed

afterimage agonizing ambient analysis anxiety atone aura breathe cage captive climax contamination covet crimson desire despise destiny determination disaster disarray disoriented disown dream effulgent electricity entropy essence eternity existence explode extreme fester fickle flee frightening graveyard heavensent horror imagination incapable incongruent infallible inferno infinite intellectual insight journey judgement landscape lust massacre meager melancholy philosophy pleasure portrait question raindrops secretive sensation starscape suicide tenacious time uncanny uncontrollable unending universe unrestrained unstable variance vertigo vibrant vitality vivacious vivid whirlwind wrath alone broken calm cry dark daydream death defeat depression embrace empty fear forgive grief hope hopeless hurt joy misery misfortune pain peaceful prayer rose scars shame tears tragedy UNREQUITED!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! please leave kudos and a comment if you enjoyed - concrit is always welcome :)
> 
> come and yell at me:  
> tumblr: semieitamatic  
> (kinda inactive) art blog: elluleart  
> instagram: rrinhoshizora


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